Today

Today is sunny and the wind is blowing hard; walking outside feels like navigating a pit of invisible moshers. As if I don't already have enough trouble staying upright. Today we had my stepkids overnight because their mother was out of town --a rare treat. S got up early and went to school, after a short blur of maple syrup and hostility bordering on the pubescent. R is sick, so he stayed home from school and Abby wandered around pointing at him and yelling, "RY-RY!" "RY-RY!" She knew it was special to have him here. I think he is her favorite person, when he's around. Probably because he doles out very small amounts of attention; or, maybe she feels the same way I do, that I'd do anything to coax one of those small, embarrassed smiles from him. [He wouldn't let me take his picture for this piece.]

Today I drove to the pharmacy to pick up meds I ran out of yesterday. The 24-hour withdrawal made me queasy and dizzy and gave me a throbbing headache. I tried to pick them up yesterday, but for some reason it was too early by my insurance company's count. I'm hoping no one is nicking my pills. When I did pick them up, they only had 59 pills instead of 60, so I have to go back again.

While I was driving around, I listened to the 80's station on Sirius satellite radio. For the first time in --what-- 25 years of listening to it, I realized that "I Would Die 4 U" is a song about Jesus. I also realized how absurd it sounded for David Bowie to compare himself to Marlon Brando in "China Girl." I saw the guy in our neighborhood who walks his Chihuahua and looks like the lead singer of They Might Be Giants, though today he had no dog. Probably afraid of the updraft. And I saw all of our porch and patio chairs strewn about by the wind. Perhaps my sudden powers of observation are related to having run out of my meds?

Today Abby and Silvia went outside for some fresh air, but while Abby was getting her coat, she grabbed the Dora umbrella and managed to pinch herself under the eye with it. It had been a week since she had a bruise or scrape on her face, so I guess it was time. Abby's hair is a mess today-- when I went to get her up, she stood up in her Sleep Sack and fleece jammies in her crib with her hair curling all which ways and laughing at me with her crooked, whistly giggle. She is cute and hilarious today.

At lunchtime, R and I ate turkey and cheese sandwiches together (though he claimed his bread smelled rotten, the turkey made his tongue hurt, and the cheese was fine but only by itself and only squished into little balls). He told me he didn't want to go back to his mom's house. I explained that I had to take him back to the nanny there because I am working today. In the end, I distracted him from the whole discussion with a Disney movie. What did moms do before? I guess Bugs Bunny.

Today we had heart-shaped waffles for breakfast, which D made because he was so glad his kids were here. I haven't called my mother-in-law today because she is really, deathly sick and I am not sure what to tell her and I don't want to intrude upon her sleep. Today I was supposed to spend 30 minutes writing, but I haven't. Today I have my Discerning Spiritual Gifts class at church, which I love. We are presenting "life maps." Creating a life map for me was a bit old hat -- not only have I done this exact project twice before, but I think almost all the time about how each piece and event in my life fits together into a coherent whole (if at all).

Today I drank a big cup of Irish breakfast tea with real sugar, a grande decaf nonfat latte with Splenda, and am in a bit of a coma after eating half of my Cadbury Milk bar.

Today is the same old kind of day.