Say Goodbye to the Biro

Whew. We made it. 8 days with both kids, and still no one bled! They were well-fed, too, although yesterday involved rather many cookies. Yesterday's project, you see, was a lemonade stand. I'm not sure where S got the idea, but she begged us to let her have a lemonade stand (also selling cookies), and since my mother was able to come down for a visit and help out, we decided to go ahead with it. The timing was good, because it was unbelievably hot yesterday, but our location was not terribly ideal. Still, we had a lot of construction workers come by and even at $.25 per cup/cookie, S managed to make around $7 (after overhead, which her daddy explained to her). She was very shy, but excited. I have a feeling this won't be the only lemonade stand we ever put up. R, meanwhile, amused himself by blowing bubbles and, later, writing on my favorite armchair with a pen. Luckily for him, we didn't see it until late in the evening, so he was spared my immediate wrath. As it is, if I have my way he'll not see another pen until he turns twelve.

p.s. I am looking for suggestions for baby books (like, board or bath books that young infants enjoy). I know about the big ones, like Goodnight Moon, Pat the Bunny, the Hungry Caterpillar, and Boynton books. Any favorites out there that are off the beaten path?

In Sickness and In Health

Sometimes when we go someplace that isn't conducive to the walker, D helps me walk and we leave the wheeled contraption in the car. For example, Jimmie Cone, the local soft-serve ice cream place, is essentially a shack surrounded by a bunch of beat-up old picnic tables under a huge, gnarled, old tree, whose massive roots make the ground all around bumpy and uneven. When we go to Jimmie Cone, D walks me over to a table first, then goes with the kids to the window to order our cones. We did the same thing at our anniversary dinner; Tio Pepe's has a ton of ambiance, but it's situated in an old basement space. The tables are on top of each other and there really isn't any foyer at all. That time, it was even dicier because D had to walk me from the parking lot across a busy city street, then down the stairs into the restaurant and to our table. The swimming pool at home is the same way -- I need help from the lounge chair to the pool steps. I'm sure some less-than-observant people see this and think I'm just unnaturally attached to my husband as I cling to his arm, or maybe they think I'm an agoraphobe or someone raised by wolves who is petrified by her first glimpse of civilization. I actually think that when we do this, it's kind of hard to tell that my problem is with walking, as opposed to fear of some kind.

Stop for a moment and try to imagine what it would be like if you literally couldn't walk from here to there without the physical support of somebody else.

Myself, I have mixed feelings about it. Specifically, what I do is walk beside him, holding his hand with my closest hand and grasping his upper arm with my other hand -- so I am clinging to him as if he were a lamppost, maybe. Most of the time, I'm really only focussed on nagging at him to slow down or whatever. Sometimes, though, walking this way sends me into a trance thinking about what a metaphor for marriage it is; you take turns holding each other up, and there is no question that you'll get the support you need. Once, it made me think of our wedding. When I was walking down the aisle, I was scared to death for some reason -- probably my natural fear of commitment. When I got up to the altar, without really giving it any conscious thought, all I wanted to do to ease my fear was to grab on to D's hand and not let go. I knew I'd be safe. When I realized that's how I felt, I knew I was marrying the man for me. Every time I walk with D now, I know I was right.

Five Months' Reprieve

The kids and D are off with Grandbob, having a steak dinner to celebrate their first Ravens training camp. Apparently S got a load of autographs because where they made the kids stand, all you could see was the top of her head and this little arm sticking up with a football and a Sharpie. R had fun too, although his greatest accomplishment was spending a full 45 minutes on a lemon ice (the boy knows the meaning of the word "savor"). D had fun, and I admit, shortly after they left, I felt sorry that I didn't go with them. Ah, but I'm just kind of having one of those sorry-for-myself days. I'll try to get some photos of training camp posted if there are any.

The visit to Dr. Maragakis at Hopkins neurology did not involve any torture, I am happy to say. He is such a nice guy, it is hard to stay mad at him even for having a needle jabbed in your head. He reminds me of a handsomer, younger Mr. Rogers. Anyway, he still doesn't know what's wrong with me. He said a couple of times that I don't fit any pattern (could have told him that) and that he's glad I am slowly improving. He also (thank goodness) said he's not inclined to send me for another spinal tap or any other tests until after the baby is born. For the first time, he said that he wasn't completely ruling out that this could be some kind of immunological or other response to pregnancy (aHA!), so he, like the rest of us, wants to wait and see what happens when AJ arrives. One thing he did do is send off some blood, to test it for -- get this -- "Stiff Person's Syndrome", which is apparently a real disorder, and also to send some to the Mayo Clinic for some hifalutin (the phlebotomist's word) autoimmune periplastic panel of tests. I guess they're still thinking that my immune system seems to be attacking the nerves. Dr. M said that there are a couple of other diagnoses that he's still got in the back of his mind, including MS and something I didn't catch starting with a D. Anyway, he says we should wait til the new year and he'll see me again and then we can start to decide whether to get more aggressive with the testing. I am not sorry to wait 5 months to see him again.

The kids were angels at Hopkins, by the way. When D called from the road on the way from training camp, he said that he foresees a disastrous dinner, because they're both whupped. I wished him luck. :)

p.s. More information about Stiff Person's Syndrome can be found at http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/stiffperson/stiffperson.htm. Why not learn something? Some of the symptoms sound familiar, like a torso that's been in constant, solid muscle spasm for nearly 4 months straight, but Dr. M said that when people have this, literally if you turn the corner and say "boo" they may have spasms that knock them down. I don't think this kind of sensitivity to noise or startle is the same as wishing the kids would play Screechy Von Screamer in some other room. Interesting, though, that anticonvulsants are one of the treatments -- my bipolar cocktail, which I said goodbye to in October, included two anticonvulsants that are also good bipolar meds. Isn't it interesting how it all works together? Even when it's working against you?