Sorry to everyone I owe an email -- Aunt Syl, Deb, many others! Quick update: I went into premature labor on Friday, and we went to the hospital on the instructions of Dr. Fraga. They stopped the labor with terbutaline shots, gave me a couple of steroid shots (ow! that ain't fair! givin' a gal a shot down there! interjections . . . ) to boost Abby's lung development just in case, and sent me home on bed rest. On Thursday, we have our regular ob appointment, and we'll go off the terbutaline, and if Abby comes, she comes -- at that point she'll be 36 weeks.
The other news is that because of the neurological complications, they're going to do the C-section under general anesthesia instead of awake with an epidural as is usually the case these days. I am somewhat disappointed that I won't be awake for her arrival, but at least I won't have to lie there anxious.
More later, folks -- I need to lie down. We're all fine here; send your good vibes!
p.s. It's clear to me that Abby tried to please her daddy by coming into the world on a Ravens bye week (so he wouldn't miss a game), but her best intentions were thwarted. Instead she'll probably end up coming during this Monday's night football game -- Steelers versus Ravens!!
30 October 2007
19 October 2007
Secret Society?
In other, related news, I had a phone conversation that actually sent me into shock last night. The conversation was with Tracy L., a friend of a friend of D's friend Jen. Tracy had a child 3 years ago, her second, and about 3 weeks after she gave birth, she very suddenly couldn't walk, had disorienting diplopia, and experienced weakness and tingling in her extremities. (True, she didn't have neck surgery, but then, she didn't have preexisting spinal stenosis, either.) The docs told her she had MS, but she had no lesions on her brain scans and nothing wrong with her spinal fluid. Her (female) neurologist suspected it wasn't MS at all, but an immune response of some kind to the pregnancy hormones. Unfortunately, the neurologist couldn't find any research at all, even case studies, to back up that hypothesis. She asked Tracy to stop breastfeeding anyway, so that the hormones would more quickly flush out of her system. It's not clear to me how soon after she stopped breastfeeding that her problems went away, but she said that, in all, it was about five months of symptoms and then suddenly, everything just cleared up. Although most of her doctors would still say that Tracy has MS, she hasn't had any recurrence of symptoms in the 2 1/2 years since she got healthy, which is a much longer time period, she said, than one would normally see between MS episodes.
Interesting. As if that weren't enough -- Tracy also has several close friends who are ob-gyns, and they told her that what happened to her "happens all the time." Through them, she spoke to a handful of women from San Francisco to New York, all of whom went through exactly the same thing she did -- but all, like her, after giving birth. I am the only person she's heard of to go through this during pregnancy.
Tracy reassured me, saying she is certain that what I'm experiencing is pregnancy-related and that it will go away soon. Her advice was (a) not to breastfeed -- get rid of the hormones ASAP and (b) never go on the Pill, something else her neurologist told her. We compared Pill stories. I actually never used the Pill, because the first time I tried it, I had horrible, over-the-top responses to the hormones. Just like Tracy did. I didn't tell Tracy about my bipolar disorder, but of course that is very hormone-dependent, too. From my layperson's point of view, this seems to fit into a very coherent picture. Something like, Hormones = Bad.
I guess one reason my discussion with Tracy, revelation and relief that it was, put me into shock is that I had never considered that breastfeeding would have anything to do with it. Another reason, I suppose, is that I hadn't considered the possibility that the fluctuations in hormones after I give birth could potentially act as another trigger -- I'd just been thinking that whatever hormones came into the picture when I conceived Abby didn't agree with me, so when she left, they'd go away and I'd get better. I still think that's the most likely scenario, but I guess Tracy's story scared me a little bit, too. I am certainly hoping it doesn't take nearly 6 months after Abby is born before I get my body back to the way it was meant to be.
I asked Tracy at one point whether she, like I , felt offended that there was no research on this -- even case studies -- but she just laughed. Me? It makes me mad. I guess you can take the girl out of the women's studies program, but you can't take the feminism out of the girl. Or maybe you don't need women's studies to feel annoyed by the lack of information for women -- when my brother heard this whole story, he suggested I call Oprah.
Anyway, D was obviously thrilled to hear about concrete cases of just these sorts of symptoms occurring under just these circumstances and then vanishing like a bad memory. I was, too. In fact, I was very relieved to speak to someone who could make me feel like less of an aberration, something other than a medical freak show. My intuition that this is pregnancy-related was so strong, though, that I don't think I was quite as worried as D that we'd got it all wrong and I'd be like this forever. Instead, the million dollar question for me has been how long will it take to get back to normal -- a question that remains, now alongside another question that shares its space: to breastfeed, or not to breastfeed?
Interesting. As if that weren't enough -- Tracy also has several close friends who are ob-gyns, and they told her that what happened to her "happens all the time." Through them, she spoke to a handful of women from San Francisco to New York, all of whom went through exactly the same thing she did -- but all, like her, after giving birth. I am the only person she's heard of to go through this during pregnancy.
Tracy reassured me, saying she is certain that what I'm experiencing is pregnancy-related and that it will go away soon. Her advice was (a) not to breastfeed -- get rid of the hormones ASAP and (b) never go on the Pill, something else her neurologist told her. We compared Pill stories. I actually never used the Pill, because the first time I tried it, I had horrible, over-the-top responses to the hormones. Just like Tracy did. I didn't tell Tracy about my bipolar disorder, but of course that is very hormone-dependent, too. From my layperson's point of view, this seems to fit into a very coherent picture. Something like, Hormones = Bad.
I guess one reason my discussion with Tracy, revelation and relief that it was, put me into shock is that I had never considered that breastfeeding would have anything to do with it. Another reason, I suppose, is that I hadn't considered the possibility that the fluctuations in hormones after I give birth could potentially act as another trigger -- I'd just been thinking that whatever hormones came into the picture when I conceived Abby didn't agree with me, so when she left, they'd go away and I'd get better. I still think that's the most likely scenario, but I guess Tracy's story scared me a little bit, too. I am certainly hoping it doesn't take nearly 6 months after Abby is born before I get my body back to the way it was meant to be.
I asked Tracy at one point whether she, like I , felt offended that there was no research on this -- even case studies -- but she just laughed. Me? It makes me mad. I guess you can take the girl out of the women's studies program, but you can't take the feminism out of the girl. Or maybe you don't need women's studies to feel annoyed by the lack of information for women -- when my brother heard this whole story, he suggested I call Oprah.
Anyway, D was obviously thrilled to hear about concrete cases of just these sorts of symptoms occurring under just these circumstances and then vanishing like a bad memory. I was, too. In fact, I was very relieved to speak to someone who could make me feel like less of an aberration, something other than a medical freak show. My intuition that this is pregnancy-related was so strong, though, that I don't think I was quite as worried as D that we'd got it all wrong and I'd be like this forever. Instead, the million dollar question for me has been how long will it take to get back to normal -- a question that remains, now alongside another question that shares its space: to breastfeed, or not to breastfeed?
18 October 2007
Periodically Hard
Turns out I'm having "Braxton-Hicks contractions." These are like practice contractions, and apparently they are normal. They do not feel normal. They feel like someone (someone grown, not someone Abby's size) has their elbow, or forehead, or basketball shoe shoving my innards outward. My whole belly suddenly, and for a few moments, gets reallly stiff and tight and hard as a rock. Maybe I shouldn't mind, since no part of me has been hard for quite some time, but I do mind. It's hard to sit, harder to lie, impossible to sleep when this is happening. It doesn't quite hurt, but it is rather uncomfortable, and when I try to move during a contraction, all the sore and stretching ligaments around my bump definitely hurt.
I'm going back to watch my Bloomberg TV. In a move which has shocked me and my husband alike, my nesting instinct seems at least in part to have manifested itself in a very uncharacteristic, but voracious, need to be involved in financial planning of some sort. Whatever. Four more weeks and a wake-up. That's all I can say.
I'm going back to watch my Bloomberg TV. In a move which has shocked me and my husband alike, my nesting instinct seems at least in part to have manifested itself in a very uncharacteristic, but voracious, need to be involved in financial planning of some sort. Whatever. Four more weeks and a wake-up. That's all I can say.
15 October 2007
Pinch Me, Please
I dreamed that Abby came out with only one eye. A big, square eye, like a windshield in the middle of her forehead. Other than that, she seemed happy. Except that, in my dream, I kept forgetting about her. I'd go almost all day, and then see the stroller in the corner and think, "Oh, no!" and race off to the nursery, reminded that there was this baby in there who needed to be fed and cleaned. She never cried in my dream, which just made me feel worse, because she went for hours and hours with no food, no attention, and wet diapers. I even blamed her in my dream-mind: if she would only cry, I wouldn't forget she exists! Very creepy.
10 October 2007
Sleeves and Legs
I washed my first load of baby clothes yesterday. Even someone like me who can't think properly notices the significance of that event. I got out the Dreft, that mysterious pink bottle of laundry detergent that promises not to poison your baby. Two things occur to me about Dreft -- one, I find it an amazing tactic of marketing or cultural zeitgeist or something that as a single girl you can go to age 36 or so without even *thinking* about getting pregnant, and yet you somehow know that Dreft exists, and exactly what it's for, and the moment the baby clothes appear, you dutifully go off to buy some. Two, if we need Dreft not to poison the baby, why do we put up with poisoning *ourselves* with all that other detergent?
Anyway, the Dreft came out (now, can you use Downy or Bounce sheets with Dreft, or does that put the poison right back in? I decided it did, and went without), and the huge load of clothes, towels, and blankets we got at the shower are now clean. As a matter of fact, most of them are still waiting to be folded. It's an amazing thing, folding baby clothes that are actually meant for your baby, when that baby is still inside you just kicking and dancing around. For one thing, they're so many different sizes, and it's shocking to think of how quickly she will grow. For another -- how do you fold those stretchies with legs & feet? I don't think I've ever folded something that had both sleeves & legs! The clothes are all covered with flowers, or duckies, or other pastel renditions of things that make life happy and soft. I'm all for it. I feel no need to buy overly trendy clothes in grown-up colors, at least not yet. I am still enjoying the illusion that I can make her entire world a cushy, pastel safety zone for the rest of her life. Why introduce black into the equation?
I guess I'd better stop stalling and go fold baby clothes, even though my entire torso is on fire with muscle-spasm and loosening-ligament pain. Well, maybe some Tylenol and some apple pie first -- then I'll be fortified to sit on the Dutalier nursing stool for 30 minutes while I fold tiny, legged outfits. By the way, Abby says hi -- that is, either she's waving hello or she's practicing her sun salutations. 5 weeks and two days to go!
Anyway, the Dreft came out (now, can you use Downy or Bounce sheets with Dreft, or does that put the poison right back in? I decided it did, and went without), and the huge load of clothes, towels, and blankets we got at the shower are now clean. As a matter of fact, most of them are still waiting to be folded. It's an amazing thing, folding baby clothes that are actually meant for your baby, when that baby is still inside you just kicking and dancing around. For one thing, they're so many different sizes, and it's shocking to think of how quickly she will grow. For another -- how do you fold those stretchies with legs & feet? I don't think I've ever folded something that had both sleeves & legs! The clothes are all covered with flowers, or duckies, or other pastel renditions of things that make life happy and soft. I'm all for it. I feel no need to buy overly trendy clothes in grown-up colors, at least not yet. I am still enjoying the illusion that I can make her entire world a cushy, pastel safety zone for the rest of her life. Why introduce black into the equation?
I guess I'd better stop stalling and go fold baby clothes, even though my entire torso is on fire with muscle-spasm and loosening-ligament pain. Well, maybe some Tylenol and some apple pie first -- then I'll be fortified to sit on the Dutalier nursing stool for 30 minutes while I fold tiny, legged outfits. By the way, Abby says hi -- that is, either she's waving hello or she's practicing her sun salutations. 5 weeks and two days to go!
02 October 2007
Umm . . .
So, I could explain that the reason I've not been blogging is that I'm trying to improve the dexterity and reduce the nerve damage in my left hand by typing two-handed, the right way, and that it is so hard that it makes me crazy. Or, I could blame it on the periodic problems I've been having each day with severe spasming in my back muscles, which makes it nearly impossible to sit upright in one place long enough to complete a blog posting.
Both of those things are true, but I also have to admit they're not the real reasons Scott House has been silent on Blogspot. Unfortunately, I seem to have succumbed to yet another symptom of pregnancy (it is one, you can look it up) -- I have lost the capacity for abstract thought. If you've read my blog over time, you know that it doesn't take much to develop enough of a train of thought to give coherence to a simple blog posting. But even that minimal skill has evaded me lately, every time I've sat down to think about blogging. I'm a little surprised I managed to come up with a posting about my inability to post.
Therefore, I'm not really going to try, at least not right now. I'll simply report, for those of you who use the blog to keep up with my health and situation: I've got these crazy powerful back spasms going on, and really no improvement in my left hand (or my left tricep, which oddly is another isolated casualty of my spinal cord injury). My eyes are in pretty good shape, my walking is still a little spastic and a little wobbly, but slowly getting better. My baby girl appears happy and active -- she is shoving and jumping and doing the mambo in there, and she appears to be undergoing a rapid growth spurt. I'm almost afraid to look in the mirror when I walk past one, because I swear the belly grows an inch in circumference every time. In general, I am doing pretty well, looking forward so much to meeting her and to the possible end of most of these crazy symptoms, and grateful for all my friends and family, and especially my hubby, who are helping me get through it all.
OK, my fingers are hurting, my back is starting to scream, and . . . what was I going to say?
Both of those things are true, but I also have to admit they're not the real reasons Scott House has been silent on Blogspot. Unfortunately, I seem to have succumbed to yet another symptom of pregnancy (it is one, you can look it up) -- I have lost the capacity for abstract thought. If you've read my blog over time, you know that it doesn't take much to develop enough of a train of thought to give coherence to a simple blog posting. But even that minimal skill has evaded me lately, every time I've sat down to think about blogging. I'm a little surprised I managed to come up with a posting about my inability to post.
Therefore, I'm not really going to try, at least not right now. I'll simply report, for those of you who use the blog to keep up with my health and situation: I've got these crazy powerful back spasms going on, and really no improvement in my left hand (or my left tricep, which oddly is another isolated casualty of my spinal cord injury). My eyes are in pretty good shape, my walking is still a little spastic and a little wobbly, but slowly getting better. My baby girl appears happy and active -- she is shoving and jumping and doing the mambo in there, and she appears to be undergoing a rapid growth spurt. I'm almost afraid to look in the mirror when I walk past one, because I swear the belly grows an inch in circumference every time. In general, I am doing pretty well, looking forward so much to meeting her and to the possible end of most of these crazy symptoms, and grateful for all my friends and family, and especially my hubby, who are helping me get through it all.
OK, my fingers are hurting, my back is starting to scream, and . . . what was I going to say?
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